friend

Was it after the tears
or the shoulder you gave
to help heal me,
that you fell on his pillowcase?

Did you like him more after the things I’d said?
Or the way he had kept me special,
not having been a part of his world this way?

My world.
Not yours.

A world I had cherished,
now forever tainted, friend.

How long had you played pretend in my face?
Fed me lies
Shameless advice

How
many
times, friend,

did you have to kiss him
until the guilt erased?

How-many-times?

Does he play you the piano
and sing you to sleep?
Was coloring your hair my same shade
another way to make me bleed?

Are you ever afraid to lose him,
knowing he could be that weak?
To have conveniently fallen,
for someone so similar
without oceans blocking his reach.

How do you believe I feel,
when you ask me these things, friend?

Paint me the picture you see in your head
For I only see black where I’ve removed you
from my heart

I do not care for the details of the Fairytale you
live now and wish to explain
My Happy Ending and yours,
live now worlds apart.

How could you,

friend?

I close my eyes and erase.